Handcuffed
by Ambiguous-Juxtaposition
Summary: Was a world of merit a good thing? Did I really want to watch my friends perish while I sit in my throne of luxury? Did that make me any better than Yamato?


_ Well see you tomorrow_

Realization slaps me across the face as I stare at the floating message on the small brightly lit screen. The feel of agonizing regret scorches on ruthlessly through my veins as my quivering hands loses their grip around the hand-held electronic causing it to clutter carelessly onto the hardwood floors. The words had failed to come to my mind which was reduced to nothing but a ring of disordered beliefs and emotions.

What had I done? Had I really chosen Yamato Hotsuin, a man whom I've known for less than a week over my best friend? Did I really just abandon Daichi, the guy who's been with me for as long as I could remember all while keeping a smile on his face in favour of a stupid merit system? Was I really prepared to tread over the weak while sitting in my throne of luxury as Yamato's right hand man? What the hell is wrong with me?

Questions keep piling up, each and every single one testing me on my morality and ethics. And to be quite frank, I couldn't answer any of them.

Why was I even in this whole mess to begin with? I didn't want to create a new world, I didn't want to be a demon tamer, and I didn't want to fight my best friend tomorrow on behalf of someone else's beliefs of a better world. What I wished for was a world without anything like that whatsoever. I wanted to go back to the day where Daichi and I were worrying about college entrance exams. I yearned for those days in the past where we would sit on the school's rooftop and chat about what video game or manga was coming out that week or getting a girlfriend. Not about demons, equality or merit systems. I was a normal teenager, not some secret weapon that everyone claims to be their key to victory.

I miss my old life. I miss the way that we would laugh about the gym teacher's hair, the way that Daichi would dumbly stare at any pretty girl that passes by us in the hallways and claim that she was checking him out, the way that we would go out for a movie every Tuesday and then have some ice cream despite the weather. I even missed the way that I would loathe the thought of going back to my house because it wasn't a home. It wasn't a place that I wanted to be in; it was nothing but an empty shell.

My parents would always be working aboard and never spare me a second glance. All those letters and e-mails they sent were nothing but computer generated messages that their personal android would come up with. They always assured me that they would come back for my birthday but those were just empty promises that were easily thrown around to get my hopes up. I knew they didn't care about me, they only cared for my grades and that was it. They were never there for me and I question whether or not they're even alive to this day and haven't been consumed by the void or demons.

But despite it all, I would've still preferred that any day over this.

I bitterly clench the blood red sheets that pooled around me until my knuckles turned white as I glowered at my reflection in the large mirror. But the blue eyes that glared back at me weren't ones of sheer hatred for that canine toothed bastard.

They were disappointed. And I knew the reason better than anyone else.

I had run away from my problems. I tried to lock myself in so that no emotions could seep through my seemingly impeccable barrier. I tried not to care for the other demon tamers who desperately tried to overcome their own ordeals. I teamed up with Yamato because I thought that I was protecting them from harm.

But, now I know that I was wrong. I was a selfish ass who had been lying to himself.

Joe's didn't deserve for his girlfriend to die, Otome was a great mother to Koharu, dance was important, I didn't understand what Airi had gone through to throw away her dream to become a pianist, Jungo made a great owner for his cat and Daichi wasn't a coward.

The way to protect my friends wasn't to join forces with Yamato. I had my own choices and it was to stop running away from things and to have a fair fight.

I didn't support the idea of a merit system; I supported Daichi's idea of editing the world with Polaris so we won't have to bicker to the bitter end. I wanted a world where my friends would be content and wouldn't have to lose something that they treasured. I am prepared to give up my life in this fight just so that they could all live in a world where they wouldn't have to worry.

My mind was made up, everything was clear to me now. I knew what I had to do to make everything right again.

Slowly, I bend down to retrieve my phone which was still flipped open and lying limply on its side. I take a long look at the picture that I had set as my wallpaper. It was an image from that time when Daichi and I went to a waterpark together and he had to bring a flamboyant floatie because he didn't know how to swim. I smile down at the photo as I reach underneath my turtleneck to find the small, silver handcuff necklace that he had gotten me for my 16th birthday.

Even though it's been 2 years since then, I still remember clearly what he had said to me.

_"You better not laugh at me for saying this! But I wanted to get you something that showed how close we are and how close we're going to stay." _

Some best friend I turned out to be.

Catching a glimpse at the digitalized clock on my phone's screen, 1:30am, I knew that I had to make the right choice before it was too late. With my hoodie in one hand and my cell in the other, I began to head for the door.

* * *

As I lean against the door to Daichi's room in the Tokyo branch, I try desperately to calm my racing heart. I was hit by another wave of cold sweat as the adrenaline pulsed through my veins while my breathing hastens. Why was I so fearful of this little encounter?

Was it because I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in his face for my fault of abandoning him? Was it because I was scared that he wouldn't accept me? Was I scared of the potential dejection that I would receive in return?

I wanted to make things right and this was the only way. I wasn't going to just loiter around as Yamato treaded all over my friends simply because they lacked power. If making the world obey to a government where everything depended on power, then what made him any different from the corruption that drew Polaris to delete our world in the first place? I knew he only wanted power to himself and leave us to perish on the grounds he walks on.

No, I was going to fight against it. I will die for the cause that I truly believe in.

Turning around, I casted the polished doorknob a glance before placing my hand on top of it. And without allowing another thought to cross my mind, I cautiously opened it.

My brows knit together in confusion as I silently slid into the room. A familiar silhouette was seen glancing out the window at the midnight blue sky that was full of stars. His hair was messy, just like the way he prefers to wear on most days and he releases a soft sigh. The moonlight shone into the room through the semi-covered curtains leaving just enough light to illuminate the surroundings. I was hit with a wave of nostalgia as I recalled the fond memory of when we were in junior high and we went star gazing for an assignment.

"See the Big Dipper?" I ask casually causing Daichi to whip his head around to see me leaning against a wall.

"H-Hiro! What are you doing here? Did Yamato send you to kill us off?" He demands trying to sound intimidating.

With my eyes being shadowed by my hood, I simply shake my head.

And without another word, I wrap my arms around my best friend and collapse in a fit of soft sobs.


End file.
